MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Just a message of season's greetings from all of us here at the TGN Blog.

Enjoy a very Merry Christmas, as 'tis the season after all.

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Seriously, What Next for The Legend of Zelda!?

When the original Legend of Zelda was released for the Famicom/NES in 1986, it broke the mold for adventure games. It had an innovative bird's eye view perspective, as well as a completely open and massive (for the time) game world to explore at your own wont or whim. You amassed yourself weaponry instead having it all from the start, and you upgraded how much damage you could take by adding to your health bar. It was an incredibly important game for industry as a whole and the Zelda franchise itself, as every Zelda game since has re-used most of the features from that original 22 year-old game.

But has the Zelda formula lost its lustre? Is it time for Nintendo to go back to the drawing board with its next game, set to be released on the Wii, a console with ground-breaking video game technology? Probably. At least that's what I think. As I said in the first part of this article, it might just have been what Twilight Princess got wrong that makes me feel this way, but I thought it'd be interesting to see what I could come up with if this was indeed the case. Imagine, if you will, that I was tasked with creating the next Zelda game. This is what I'd do…

There are things I'd want to remain constant for the next Zelda, because there's no need to get rid of everything, as I might just as well create an entirely new game. For this game to be a re-imagining of the Zelda series as a whole, the main characters (Link, Zelda and Ganondorf) need to be integral to the plot, otherwise it's not really a Zelda game. Like Ocarina of Time before it, which was a plot reboot (of sorts) for the series, these characters need to appear in all their glory. There's nothing wrong at all with keeping the characters the same, but the gameplay mechanics haven't really changed in 4 games and 10 years and the formula of the actual game. hasn't changed in an even longer period of time. A Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker and Twilight Princess are each the defining Zelda game for their respective consoles, and all have pretty much the same layout. Three dungeons act as a prologue of sorts to the game, before you're then given another 5 or so more dungeons to complete the game totalling 8 dungeons altogether. Each dungeon is a labyrinth of back-and-forth gameplay revolving around solving puzzles and using the dungeon's new item to get to the boss, who, upon its death, coughs up that sacred piece of something or other as well as an upgrade to your heart metre. Same old same old.

The first ever Zelda title screen. Woo!

So what could possibly change? Well, straight away I'm going to go out on a limb here and turn the game upside down by changing the setting. I'd be lying if I wasn't intrigued by this video from Wii.tv. Although it was quite a blatant April Fools, the prospect of playing a futuristic Zelda game had me positively drooling. So, I'm going to steal that idea! In the video, it says that Link doesn't have a horse, but instead rides a bike named Epona. I'm not too sure if that'd work. I think I'd keep Epona as a horse, as Link riding around a futuristic, metallic, industrial Hyrule on horseback would be an intriguing prospect. Not only that, but I'd keep the bow and arrows and definitely his sword. Not a lightsaber style Master Sword, but the original blue-hilted Master Sword. This, I think, would create quite a cool concept, of this humble and courageous young boy who uses ancient weaponry to fight an industrial evil.

Look at how cool that mask is. It's awesome, isn't it?

But even if the setting wasn't changed, I'd change a few more things for the next Zelda game. Namely, the structure of the game and how it unfolds, a much less generic structure, for a start. Twilight Princess did its part to remedy this somewhat, but in the end, the game was pretty much the same as each Zelda before it; find dungeon, complete dungeon, find next dungeon, complete dungeon, repeat till fade. A simplified version of events from any Zelda game you care to mention. Majora's Mask, however, did have the dungeons to find and complete, but what set it apart was the game's world and the people in it. The game had you helping out almost every occupant in Termina in one way or another. Doing this unlocked things for you to use, such as Link's horse, Epona, or a new mask to wear, which gave you special abilities such as a faster running speed or the ability to talk to animals. Without going into too much detail, certain events happened at certain times on certain days, and you could shape how these events transpired. It wouldn't be a complete tragedy if this reappeared in one way or another. Majora's Mask was also quite mature. It still kept a lot of the Zelda humour and whimsy, but some parts of the game were incredibly hard-hitting, especially if you failed your mission to prevent the moon from crashing into Termina, and the music that accompanied the game's main antagonist, the Skull Kid, was genuinely unnerving.

We need some more of the Fierce Deity. I mean, every thing about it is cool. Even the name. Say it. Go on. Fierce Deity. Awsm.

Majora's Mask also gave Link an incredibly cool super-hero type mask if you collected every other mask on offer. The dark power of the Fierce Deity's mask transformed Link into a powerful adult-like version of himself. He could take more damage, deal out more damage and just looked plain awesome. However, the Fierce Deity's mask was incredibly restrictive to use. It could only be used against bosses. I don't think it'd be far from the truth that everyone who managed to play as Fierce Deity Link would love him to reappear in a future Zelda game, in any way, shape or form. For these reasons, Majora's Mask is certainly the Zelda game I'd take the most inspiration from. I'd leave Tingle out, though.

So what have we got at the moment? A new futuristic setting, that, if done properly, could mean a revolution for the series. Square did it with Final Fantasy VII, why can't Nintendo do it with Zelda? Not only would this reinvigorate the series and make it feel fresh again, like Ocarina of Time, but it might also give the game a wider appeal and therefore a bigger audience, something the Zelda games richly deserve. A less formulaic approach to the plot would also refresh the series, and giving the bit-part players from the games stories of their own, à la Majora's Mask, would expand upon one of the series' high-points (as like I said, there's no need to get rid of everything and there's no harm in taking inspiration from the franchise itself). This would also give the game depth and allow the player to become emotionally involved with the game, something Zelda is famous for, especially since Ocarina of Time. Lastly, the Fierce Deity's mask to be expanded upon, with it's origin's explored and a greater use for it, as it has been criminally under-used (read: not used at all) since it made its debut in Majora's Mask.

More soon? Probably.

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Review - Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts

• Game: Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts
  
• Format: Xbox 360
• Other Formats: None
• Developer: Rare
• Publisher: Microsoft
• Genre: 3rd Person Adventure

I loved the original Banjo-Kazooie games – a lot. They were part of the epitome of the N64’s very limited catalogue consisting almost entirely of 1^st Party Nintendo releases and Rare games. My childlike eyes (literally at the time) were astounded at the visual candy being force-fed through their pupils, and the sheer amount of moves the duo had set the bar for 3D Platformers, or ‘Adventure Games’ - as every venture into the three dimensions from a 3^rd person perspective seems to be labelled. So naturally, like many others I’m sure, my excitement was built up at the thought of a new Banjo, only to be dashed moments later when Rare announced ‘the catch’.

You see, not content with giving the fans what they want, developers are constantly adding new ideas and twists that are sometimes unwarranted in their games. One glance at Sonic the Hedgehog and his legions of freakishly deformed woodland friends is proof of this. It is as though the industry is more afraid of someone saying that their new great game has a similar likeness to their old great game, than actually releasing compressed turd on disc that sells like balls on lukewarm cakes. It’s like someone complaining that I look not too dissimilar to my father and proceeding to put a wrench in my ear sideways in the name of “keeping things fresh”.

Rare’s “keeping things fresh” for Nuts & Bolts is the frankly bold idea of customisable vehicles with which you complete the various missions – usually consisting of “take this from point A to point B” or “race me”. Initially this is very clunky as you start the game with just a trolley on cheese-like wheels, but gradually you’ll gain parts that increase performance. Stop me if I start to sound insane, but why does the player need to be punished with something that handles like a sled pushed down a hill on potatoes, when at this point in the game they are just getting to grips with the controls as it is? At this stage too, any attempt to create your own vehicle will be met with something that steers far worse and looks like the lego creation of a spastic orang-utan.

Beautiful stuff, really.

Eventually though the game starts to pick up and rather ironically it’s after the part featured in the downloadable demo. While not strictly Banjo-Kazooie – the duo have had their abilities ‘taken away’ – the characters are well aware of it, and even that they are in a game. The trademark Rare humour is still there and guaranteed to raise a smile, especially when poking fun at themselves as developers. Kazooie even quips about hoping this game sells better than Grabbed by the Ghoulies, and it just reeks of that classic Banjo-Kazooie atmosphere. You collect ‘Jiggies’ - which are to the series as stars are to Mario – for completing the aforementioned missions, and your income to spend on new vehicle parts consists of musical notes dashed around the place to collect.

When charged with objectives in the main game worlds, the vast majority of the time you have the choice of what vehicle you use to complete it. So if you need to push giant footballs into a goal, you’d probably choose a vehicle with pincers that hold it into place while you valiantly charge headfirst through the target. Sometimes though, challenges require more of you than your current blueprints collection can provide a solution to, so you head over to Mumbo’s Motors for a bit of classic ingenuity; slapping on extra parts and creating from scratch what you need. While this is undoubtedly the spirit of the game, sometimes it can make challenges redundant. One such objective required the transport of a small antenna all the way up a rickety and dangerous path, past numerous rabid enemies baying for bloody fur and feathers, and traps designed to make bear and bird jam out of you, taking roughly a minute in the standard trolley vehicle to traverse. I however, quickly jumped to the workshop and slapped a couple propellers on the side of the trolley to make a helicopter, setting myself up to blissfully sail to the objective above in less than ten seconds. While there is a challenge in getting a trophy for every high score or fast time possible, this will only test you for so long as the game rolls at a particularly placid pace through undemanding station, parallel to easy street. The only real challenge comes from controlling your means of transport that you create in the name of independence from the game holding your paw all the way.

I really couldn't tell you what's going on here. Is that… is that an aardvark? Well, that's awesome.

Visually, the worlds created by Rare are stunning. Looking at Nuts & Bolts should be a pastime in itself, as dozens of gorgeous effects burst out of the screen at your unprotected eyes, burrowing through the optic nerve into the “ooh, purdy” part of the brain. Utilising various lens effects such as depth of field and bloom, as well as what I’ve come to dub as ‘Rare grass’ – unnaturally straight blades of grass that seem to be implemented just to tell you that Rare made this game. As well as this is some absolutely stunning water shaders and effects. The first world, ‘Nutty Acres’ shows off this water to sublime effect, and it really is like looking into the heaving bosom of God (assuming that we’re talking about an awe-inspiring female God here, and not a chubby sweat infested bloke). All this ‘Rare grass’ and heavenly cleavage can take a toll at some points however, and the frame rate threatens to piss itself and die when the action gets too hot – barely even jumping over 30fps if naught is going on.

While not strictly Banjo-Kazooie, this new iteration still retains the classic characters and humour, and is a charming game in its own right. Granted, I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who would have been ecstatic with a ‘proper’ sequel in the form of Banjo-Threeie, but if you like your games light-hearted and are up for a delightful romp, you could do much worse than Nuts & Bolts.

Score:
7/10

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Review - Gears of War 2

• Game: Gears of War 2
• Format: Xbox 360
• Other Formats: None
• Developer: Epic Games
• Publisher: Microsoft
• Genre: 3rd Person Shooter

Gears of War, for the uninitiated, is essentially what you would get if you take Resident Evil 4 – with it’s over the shoulder camera and excessive gore – then cultured it in a petri-dish of cover-based combat and squad mechanics. Gears is a shooter; with big guns; big guns and a chainsaw. Now we have that out of the way we can move onto Gears of War 2…

The second game of the proposed trilogy (yes, that’s right), Gears 2 seems to hit all the right buttons from the very start. The menus are more intuitive with little descriptions for every selection you can make. Multiplayer has an abundance of modes and options to choose from, including the opportunity to play against bots – something that is missing from many contemporary shooters. There is also now a training mode for newcomers and veterans alike, allowing you to dip the proverbial toe into the pool instead of charging head-first, Master Chief style, into a royal arse-kicking from players in the new matchmaking modes. You get the impression that everyone and their mum at Epic was given a slip of paper to fill out, with only the words, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” emblazoned across the top. One of said slips must have mentioned the inclusion of chainsaw duels. As many - if not all - of those who played multiplayer on the original Gears of War will know, winning is not always a matter of how skilled you are at the game. As much as many of us would like to think otherwise, if two players ran at each other with chainsaw bayonets raised, whether the winner was decided by complete random or by the salinity of water at the north coast of the Red Sea – no one quite knows. To counter this in the sequel, both attacking players get launched face-first into our old chubby friend Quincy ‘Quick-Time’ Event, mashing the ‘B’ button until one character resembles jam. While an admirable attempt to reconcile the problem, I can’t help but feel this mechanic could grate later on in the game’s lifespan, as some of us probably had more chance of winning when it was decided by the Red Sea.

You really need to click this pic to fully understand the beauty of this disgusting worm-thing.

Something I have purposely not touched on until now is how stunning Gears of War 2 really does look. The phrase ‘eye-candy’ does not do justice here; a new phrase is in order - such as ‘pizzazzual-oomf’, or something else of a similarly eccentric calibre. Utilising the newest build of Epic’s own Unreal III engine, the Gears 2 team have been able to realise an unprecedented scale to the environments, only hinted at in the first game. At a glance, the objects and characters themselves are not a leap away from the models in the original – which is no bad thing. But a little fiddle with how lighting is handled behind the scenes however has enabled Epic to render roughly twenty times the amount of enemies and characters on screen at once. This is shown to full effects in the campaign’s second chapter where you and your army buddies ride a huge drilling platform through legions of the evil Locust horde, with explosions, smoke and bodily fluids hurtling around you. It’s this kind of ‘pizzazzual-oomf’ (I knew I’d be able to use that again) that you would show off your 360 with to prove to your parents that it wasn’t a waste of money buying a games console. Naturally they will just nod and smile while edging ever closer to the door, but you won’t care because it looks totally fucking sweet.

The experience is made all the more cinematic by the use of what Epic rather unimaginatively call a ‘Cinematic Camera’, unlike the pseudo real-to-life styling of the original. What this essentially boils down to is the use of lighting within the game more akin to that of a blockbuster movie and the inclusion of depth of field with the camera. The latter looks great for the most part, blurring objects in the background while you are ‘focused’ on whatever you are aiming at. The problem however, is how the game determines what it thinks you are focused on. Allow me to elaborate; You might be peering down the lens of a sniper rifle at your mark the other side of that chicken wire fence, but you can’t see him properly because the bloody camera is focused on the intricate weaving of that pathetically thin fence, whilst Liam the bad Locust is trotting on his merry little way, about to do unspeakable things to your family. It’s a slight oversight by the developers that can actually affect the outcome of a match.

It really doesn't look that much different to the original GoW, but that's not a bad thing, as the original is still a testament to true graphical greatness. Also, GoW2 is a hell of a lot more epic - appropriate, considering the name of the developer.

I only briefly mentioned the multiplayer earlier, which for many of us is the main draw for getting Gears of War 2, and I’m glad to say that it doesn’t disappoint. As well as including an extra player to each team, and all the old game modes – Assassination has even had a facelift – there is a smattering of new kids in the class. Wingman is a game type taking the old Execution rules a step further, where up to five two-player teams compete against each other until one team reaches a set amount of points. Submission is a fantastically twisted, err, twist on Capture the Flag, where players have to down a stranded character and take him as a hostage to the drop-off point. It utilises an addition to combat that is a particular favourite of mine - meat shields. No, there is nothing quite as satisfying as capping an enemy in the knee, running up to them and exploiting their dazed state as a shield for yourself, then – new friend in-hand – firing your sidearm at another enemy to down them, finishing them off with a swift cosh to the head and finally snapping the neck of your portable cover. Its OK, you’re allowed to be sadistic to computer game characters, just don’t tell the Daily Mail.

The player’s choice game type, however, has to be Horde. You and four comrades dig in on any multiplayer map and battle wave after wave of Locust, getting progressively harder and more bad-ass. Imagine holding a house as your last bastion of hope with the waves of enemies getting closer by the second, every shot has to count because you don’t want to venture outside your comfy confines to get that ammo pack. But then, the dreaded sound of “c’tunk, c’tunk” echoes from your gun as the clip runs dry … sound cool?

That’s Gears of War 2 for you. More of the same, but with everything tuned, expanded, or just downright bloodier. It’s a guy’s game. It turns up at house parties with beer and power tools, chugging kegs in the name of manliness and action. Just don’t expect anything to convert you if you felt the first game was too shallow.

Score:
9/10

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What Next for The Legend of Zelda?

Zelda games, for me, are almost the single reason why I love Nintendo so. Ever since I first played Link’s Awakening all those years ago, I was hooked. Then Ocarina of Time came out and I was blown away, and this carried on through to the end of Majora’s Mask. I couldn’t wait to see what Nintendo would do next with their franchise. But then there was Wind Waker, and whilst it not being a bad game at all, it just wasn’t up to the standard that I expected. What I never expected, though, was that the next game would leave me incredibly disheartened. You see, I've been a little off with the Zelda games since I first completed Twilight Princess nearly two years ago.

Don't get me wrong, Twilight Princess is a really good game, but I can't really see where the franchise is going next. After Ocarina of Time, fans were pushing for another Zelda game of its ilk to be churned out by the mighty Japanese company. Although Majora’s Mask was a brilliant game, the fans wanted something more of what Ocarina promised, and that was a grown-up Link and a mature game that surrounded him. The Zelda fanboys were counting the hours that such a game was announced. When Twilight Princess was unveiled (as merely The Legend of Zelda) at E3 2005 there was a collective orgasm from them all. I have to admit, that even I splurged a little when I first saw it. Even now, when I watch that video, I get a shiver down my spine as the crowd roars when they first see Link on horse-back, holding his sword aloft, galloping through Hyrule Field to meet the baying hoard of boar-riders. It's the way the music builds to a crescendo and just as Link is revealed the crowd explodes with cheering and clapping, one guy shouting "oh my God" at the top of his lungs. I defy anyone who likes Zelda even in the slightest to watch that video and not get a tingly spine.

This is still pretty bad-ass.

Compare that, if you will, to when Wind Waker was revealed. It received probably the exact opposite reaction to Twilight Princess, just a polite smattering of applause, and then the uproar on various forums. Most of the fans weren't happy; some embraced this new look, but most derided it, dubbing it 'Celda' because of the cel-shaded cartoon-like graphics and condemning it before they'd even played it. This was the Zelda game the fans didn't want. The fans had wanted Ocarina of Time on a next-generation console with next-generation graphics, an incredibly dark storyline and a much more grown-up attitude. They got next-gen graphics, but they never expected the cartoon visuals. It was then pretty much certain that any hopes of a 'mature' Zelda game were out of the window. Zelda had gone all 'kiddy'.

At its core, though, Wind Waker is still very much a Legend of Zelda game. It has everything that has become synonymous with the Zelda games. Link, Princess Zelda and Ganondorf are all present. You traverse an over-world as well as explore the obligatory puzzle-laden dungeons in search of the mysterious item held by the last boss. You collect items and such to help you progress through each dungeon, as well as get to hitherto unreachable areas of the over-world. It was also a pretty good game, too, with certain moments that reminisced upon Ocarina of Time placed especially for the fans. It reeked of a game that wanted to please fans, but made the fatal flaw of dumping their beloved world under the sea, the biggest game-world in a Zelda game ever, but with anything noteworthy sparsely laid-out and surrounded by miles and miles of ocean. This was by far a greater disappointment than the cartoon look. Not only that, but prior to the final dungeon, the game set you off on a labourious treasure hunt that made the game feel incredibly unfinished. This left a sour taste more than cel-shading ever could. But if it weren't for Wind Waker, Twilight Princess wouldn't have gotten the reaction it did at E3 2005 and wouldn't have been the game we eventually got.

This screenshot represents a good 60% of this game.

So, what did we get? We got a very good game indeed. Wind Waker was improved upon in every respect. The developers had pretty much gone back to Ocarina of Time for their inspiration. With Twilight Princess, Nintendo had given the fans what they wanted. Twilight Princess, for all intents and purposes, is a next-generation Ocarina of Time. Of course, it's not a remake, but it's not too far removed from one. However, to dub Twilight Princess as merely 'Ocarina of Time with a face-lift' would be incredibly harsh, as Twilight Princess really is an astoundingly accomplished game. For one thing, it's absolutely huge, with the main quest alone taking a good 50 or-so hours to complete. Not only that, it never once looks ugly. Every single part of this game is stunning to look at, and some of the art direction makes you wonder why you need consoles as powerful as the Xbox 360 or the PS3 when a GameCube game can churn out graphics that are this good. It's also worth noting, with the possible exception of Super Mario Galaxy, that no Wii game has surpassed Twilight Princess in terms of graphics (although this is more likely to do with the possibility that the Wii just isn't that powerful). Twilight Princess is also littered with dozens of cut-scenes, each of them animated to perfection and every character displaying bundles of personality despite the lack of voice-acting in the game. Controlling Link is never a chore, either. He moves fluidly about the game world, whether on foot or horse-back.

But still, it's not better than either Majora's Mask or Ocarina of Time and that probably has something to do with the story. In both these games, the lands they are set in (Termina and Hyrule, respectively) both seem a hell of a lot more in peril than the Hyrule in Twilight Princess. The Hyrule in Ocarina of Time sees Ganondorf trying to obtain the Triforce to give him God-like powers and rule over the land with absolute tyranny. About a third of the way through the game, Link travels to the future and sees Hyrule Castle Town in ruins, a town that he explored in his childhood. This is an incredibly hard-hitting section of the game, as, instead of the being presented with a lively and cheerful town, with children and dogs playing and people bartering at stores, you're presented with a perpetually dark town with abandoned houses quickly falling into disrepair, and with children's laughter replaced by the paralysing scream of zombies. Hyrule Castle itself has been transformed from a beautiful white, tower-laden building into a black Gothic death-house hovering over a sea of molten lava. Majora's Mask's Termina has the threat of being destroyed completely by the moon crashing into it. In comparison, the Twilight Realm, to me, seems more like a mere annoyance than a matter of life and death.

With all that said, there are moments in Twilight Princess that tug at the heart-strings. When Link battles to save Colin from King Bulblin, you set out on Epona to get him back. This is one of the stand-out moments in the game, as for the first time in a Zelda game, you fight on horse-back, culminating in a joust like set-piece on a bridge above a seemingly bottomless chasm. When you defeat King Bulblin, the following cut-scene makes Link seem like a bona fide hero. As anyone who loves Zelda knows, Link is by far the most important character. It goes without saying (which is quite appropriate, seeing as Link never says anything himself). As the game goes on, however, the spotlight seems to be transferred to Midna. During the final battle, Link seems more like a side-character, despite the fact that you're controlling him. Ganondorf and Midna seem to ignore Link completely. Link is left on the side-lines while Midna and Ganondorf get on with it. The hero role of Link was thrown out of the window, which left me feeling somewhat ignored myself.

Maybe this is the reason why I'm feeling a little disenchanted with Zelda. Perhaps it has nothing to do with what a Zelda game is or what a Zelda game does, but merely how Twilight Princess disappointed me in its latter stages. It's really quite confusing. If it is for this reason, then it's easily remedied by Nintendo. In a Zelda game, Link is not the be-all and end-all, but he is incredibly significant. There hasn't been a Zelda game without Link. Much more important than Link, though, is our link to him (pun intended). As with most character- and story-driven games, we see the world through the main character's eyes. We become incredibly associated with them, or, at the most, we actually become them (in the game, at least). When this character becomes significant, we feel significant. When this character becomes insignificant, we feel insignificant. This is what bugged me more about the final parts of Twilight Princess.

However, what if it were the fact that I am bored with what a Zelda game is and what a Zelda game does? What if it is a little too set in its ways? What if the formula has become staid? What if the Zelda franchise needs to be shaken-up a little? I'll try to answer those questions and the titular question of this article soon…

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Quick Time!

A Guest Article by Falco

Quick Time Events (or QTEs) are such marvellous ideas, playing out a highly orchestrated cut-scene like something from one of the best action movies. It started out as the most basic of gaming. In the days of Sega's Mega Drive add-on, the CDi, there were games that were nothing but cut-scenes and QTEs, such as Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, which was merely the first episode which played out in a massive QTE chain. This has recently been brought back by games such as Shenmue, then later God of War and Resident Evil 4, which utilised them them in a much better way; you weren't forced to watch the cut-scenes - you actively took part in them. Running from boulders and engaging in knife-fights in RE4 to impaling four storey high Krackens on broken masts of under-siege ships in God of War. Now that wouldn't look nearly as cool from a 3rd person back-cam.

These days QTE has evolved past cutscenes… kind of. Now QTEs can be a whole Boss fight, such as in Marvel Ultimate Alliance, some bosses can't even be harmed unless you tap the buttons as they tell you. Now that pretty much every game does it, a lot of people are tired of them, but that's more to do with the fact that most are poorly done, forcing them on you from nowhere and having such precise inputs that they just frustrate the player. Blue Dragon was annoying for this minor problem.

The Force Unleashed, however, goes some way towards fixing the problem, once you've suffered through a boss fight, you press X (or square) to activate the finisher. Failure to complete the QTE on some of the harder bosses would have Starkiller parrying and going back to where he started so you could have another go. With easier boss fights you just activate the QTE again.

But the big question is, where do QTEs go from here? Do they stay at the same point giving us something to do in the cut-scenes or do they become something more? One idea that could be used in the future is using them to teach the player without them knowing you've taught them anything, a la Mr Miyagi! For example: in a game the character learns the combo X, Y, X, Y, B. Long and complex with specific timing. This combo is the best weapon against the level's Boss. The player will get a side mission to help a local farm with the harvest, once there they will be given a QTE of X, Y, X, Y, B with loose timing, then get challenged to beat a farm hand at the same task. Beating the farmhand will require the player to pull off the combo, thus teaching them a daunting looking attack without them knowing. It adds fun and when the player reaches the boss they'll be able to nail him a lot easier because of it.

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A Look at the NXE

A couple of weeks ago, Microsoft announced that they were going to let a lucky few users try-out the Xbox 360's brand new revamped dashboard dubbed the New Xbox Experience (or just the NXE). To get the chance to wrap their deformed gaming thumbs around this 'preview', all they had to do was sign-up to Microsoft's 'Connect' service website … thing, fill out a quick form and they were entered into a selection process. I was one of the few who were chosen to download and preview the NXE weeks before its official release and so I thought I'd be kind enough to meld my thoughts and 'experience' so far into this concise but hopefully descriptive bit of readery for your eyes.

So what is the point in this 'Preview Program', I hear you ask? Well, it's basically a beta trial, where users can test out the new dashboard on their very own consoles at home and contact Microsoft to moan about all the bugs, so Microsoft can repair said bugs before it's officially released upon the public, like some kind of sexy-looking and rather functional pack of baying hounds. In other words, Microsoft gets a bunch of people to do their work for them and then have the gall to call them 'lucky'. You won't see anyone who got picked complaining, though, as the NXE genuinely is a lovely bit of user interface.

The loveliness of it all rears its beautiful head almost immediately as, you'll be glad to know, downloading and installing it is literally as easy as pressing one button twice. Whether it'll be as quick and painless on the 19th of November (when the WHOLE WORLD downloads it) is yet to be seen. It might be a little slower on the actual day, but at least it'll be painless, unless you sit on a pin or something. When you're all ready to go and when your 360 has restarted itself and after the rather spiffing intro video thing, your first interactive port of call in this 'experience' is to create your Avatar. You can either pick a placeholder for now and move on to the dashboard proper, or you could spend a while customising your Avatar, changing things such as hair and the other obvious bits I can't be bothered to mention. At the moment, though, it seems that Avatars are rather arbitrary and purely there for aesthetics. They don't do much except stand there waving at you and looking pretty. Come the 19th, however, I can pop my 360 on and have a look-see at the smiley new faces on my spanking new friends list. It's for this reason, and the fact that there are a lot more options available to you, that it's already tons better than Nintendo's simple-looking but faff-laden Miis.

Once you've saved your Avatar, you're finally taken to the dashboard. Without getting too in-depth, it's all set-out rather well; push up or down on the control stick and you're taken to the different sections of the dashboard, such as the Marketplace or your friends list, left and right taking you to the different options each section gives you, e.g. allowing you to play whatever game is in your tray. Your friends list is now no longer confined to the guide blade and has its very own full-screen section. Your friends all appear as their Avatars (the box of the game they're playing next to them) standing in front of certain background articles depending on the theme you've got, such as a big Xbox 360 or a police car or something. These backgrounds don't really have a purpose, but it's much more pleasing to the eye than a boring list or some kind of weird 'parade'.

One of the best new things about the NXE is the new guide button menu, which is a basic version of the old dashboard, but the speed at which it pops up and travels through its different options is rather refreshing. The old guide menu was a little clunky and a little ugly, especially when compared to the new one. It seems like the old guide has been retired to make way for its slicker, quicker and more intelligent younger sibling. You'll begin to feel pangs of regret every time you press that button (pangs that are quickly dispersed, mind you) as that old blade was like a friend. The kind of friend that is mostly reliable, but boring and slow. It did what it was asked to do without much fuss, and it might have broken down every now and then, but you always went back to it, mainly because you had to and had no other friends. I feel I've rinsed all I can from that particular analogy.

There are myriad features and options that the NXE gives you and I could go through them all, but by the time I'd have gotten around to writing them down it'll be next Thursday and everybody will already have it. I could go on to say that the new party system seems like an awesome idea, but seeing as nobody on my friends list (so nobody I actually want to talk to for longer than a minute) has the NXE, I'm not really able to test it out. But I'm not going to say that. I'm also not going to say that, at first, the NXE seems nothing more than a completely aesthetic make-over, but if you spend some time with it (and you will) you'll soon find that its newly found functionality and swiftness means that it's so much more than mere eye-candy. I could also say that perhaps I'm over-hyping it too much. Perhaps my love for all things Xbox 360 has clouded my judgement, and that if the NXE was merely a badly-compressed picture of Bill Gates sitting on a throne of money with a speech-bubble saying "buy more games you fucking loser" whilst giving me the finger I'd probably still love it. But, again, I'm running out of time here so I'm not going to say that either.

Just don't expect to play many games on the 19th, as you'll be too busy playing around with the front-end menu of a machine that was built primarily to play games on. Madness!

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Best of the Worst - Virtual Hydlide

A Guest Review by Jambo

This Review is part of our 'Best of the Worst' ('BotW') series, in which TGN writers/guests attempt to find the very worst games in existence, and offer proof of it's terribleness, in the form of a review.

• Game: Virtual Hydlide
• Format: SEGA Saturn
• Developer: T&E Soft
• Publisher: SEGA
• Genre: RPG
  

There are a hell of a lot of awful games that decide to ‘grace’ the videogames world with their presence, but now I believe we have a new benchmark to compare others against: Virtual Hydlide. This isn’t your average RPG. Hell, it’s not even sub-standard. This BotW is here purely to compel you to not ever consider buying this game. If it appears on eBay for next to nothing don’t even click on the link. Seriously, don’t bother. Now, onto the actual game...

Is it any coincidence that the two games I have elected into the BotW vault so far are both made by T&E Soft? Maybe, but it is not without good reason. Virtual Hydlide is an action-RPG which was released on the SEGA Saturn in 1995. The Hydlide series has been around for a while but has never achieved any large success due to it being seen as a poor man’s Zelda. The first game appeared on the NES, but fans(!?) of the series claim this Saturn version to be the worst. If that is what the fans are saying then you know it must be a true turd of a game.

Hydlide is the ‘magical’ world which you, the plucky, pixelated hero, must explore. Perhaps the magical part is that it manages miraculously to make every environment look exactly the same as every other, along with all the enemies popping up out of thin air. The story is quite typical of the genre, and indeed the other Hydlide games. A dark demon called Varalys attempts to take over the land and he kidnaps a princess who then splits into three fairies. The gamer has to track down these three fairies, find three magic stones, defeat one or two bosses and finally face Varalys in a climactic showdown. That is if you can slug your way through the terrible graphics and painstaking gameplay…

Gameplay that is far too simple, and this is where the game really stumbles. You have three different strengths of attack (though you won‘t notice the difference) and as you progress through the game you can pick up a small selection of analogous swords and daggers to aid you in this button mashing quest. For most of the game you are placed in a wide-open environment and are forced to follow a marker to your next destination where you may find an enemy to fight or you may just be flung to another dull and remorselessly samey environment (including a graveyard, a dungeon, a large field, another graveyard and some more dungeons). This ruins the sense of progression and makes the game seem forcibly dragged-out.

It really doesn't look that bad, but considering the frame-rate, this is probably a GIF animation of gameplay.

This quote is taken from the blurb that can be found on the reverse of the box: “Killer trees, deadly dragons and bloody-thirsty zombies are rife in this magical slash and hack adventure”. Now, call me cynical, but any game that lists trees as enemies must be approached with caution. The most damaging enemy, though, is the graphics engine. Unlike the previous Hydlide games, Virtual Hydlide escapes from the user friendly top-down view and takes the first steps into motion captured video. The result is an awkward mix of ‘photo-realistic graphics’ and a choppy frame rate. Although at first glance the graphics may seem alright, it isn’t till you actually play the game for any length of time that you realise just how slothful and distorted they are. When you get up close to a foe you can never be sure if your attack will actually hit them or if you’ll be made to just watch helplessly as the game slows down (and when it returns to normal you find that you are dead). Enemies flicker through walls, objects get grainier the closer you get and the scenery tends to move of its own accord. If you can remember the '80s TV RPG sensation ‘Knightmare’ then you’ll have a pretty good idea of what to expect… only worse.

Music is vitally important to videogames and a good soundtrack can heighten the senses and add emotion and emphasis to particular scenes. Virtual Hydlide prefers to torture its player with noise similar to that of a cat passing a 10 inch kidney stone whilst being stroked vigorously by an overly enthusiastic child with a terrible case of halitosis… with a megaphone strapped to its mouth. I suppose that is a tad undue, there are a few samples of music that rise to ranks of ‘run of the mill’, though it's the sound effects that provide the true anguish. Constant grunts of “Ungh”, “Aiee”, and “Squish!” quickly vex.

Knightmare was awesome. I'm gonna go YouTube me some Knightmare.

There are a couple of neat touches. The game uses a pretty good ‘weight-limit’ idea where the hero can only carry items up to a certain weight. This does theoretically add some strategic value but is badly executed and so in practice becomes a chore. The final dungeon is something that has to be seen to be believed. Without giving too much away, expect Tron-esque rooms coupled with the terrible, nausea inducing motion-capture; who needs an acid trip when you have got this?

The game tried something new. Motion-capture was uncharted territory and to try and use it in the RPG genre was a courageous move… but one that here proved disastrous. The idea of a photo-realistic virtual world was great, but the hardware limitations seriously destroyed any fun the game may have contained. Perhaps the worst parts are that VH contains no text and no non-playable characters to interact with, thus making the story a novel inclusion rather than a major driving point: there are no towns to visit, no side-quests to enjoy and nowhere to rest meaning that the duration of the playing time is a constant fight against ennui. That, and the lead character looks like a stocky transvestite… oh, and by the time you finished reading this you probably could have completed the game.

Twice.

Score:
9 turds out of 10

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Retrospective - Fable

• Game: Fable
• Console: Xbox, PC
• Developer: Lionhead Studios
• Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
• Released: September 2004
  

What with Fable II's release just around that proverbial and clichéd 'corner', it seems to make sense that along with it comes an inevitable look back at its predecessor, a game that everyone, thanks mainly to the game's creator, had extremely high hopes for. However, it fell short of those hopes (way short, some might say) and nobody but the aforementioned creator, Peter Molyneux, can take the blame for it. He was the master of his own downfall and he knows it. He has apologised time and time again, but, you know what? He needn't have, really. You see, Fable is still an incredibly good game, and no amount of promises of trees that grow in real-time could have made us expect the finished game that we got to play. It's by no means perfect, but it's still a rather exceptional game.

What really sets this game apart is the fact that you can really tell Fable was made by a British development house. The people of Albion speak in regional English accents; there are cockneys, scousers, brummies, geordies, Welsh, Scottish and Irish, with the beautiful Bristol accent taking precedent over most. It's also filled with very silly humour, something the British are famous for, and it seems the developer's main inspiration is Terry Pratchett. As a quick and easy example of the rather silly humour, your character is able to burp and fart at will; what this does is something of a mystery, but does it really need to have purpose? Farts are funny! That's not to say that the game doesn't get serious, because it does, especially towards the end of the game, when Albion comes under attack. For all the whimsy and charm in this game, there is a lot of gore that counters it, with decapitation being the bloodiest method of disposal in the game. There are even some afters - you can kick your enemies bodiless heads around. It's genius, really.

I played the game through to its end a few times, and my character always ended up looking similar to this wizard dude.

However, the whole point of Fable was that, dependent upon the decisions you chose and the way you played the game, your character, and the world around him, would change accordingly, and that each person who played the game would have a unique game-world, and a unique character. But neither seemed to really work, as Fable simply isn't deep enough. You see, for an RPG, Fable is not that big a game. The world is rather expansive, but because you're confined to narrow pathways throughout the game, it never really feels as big as it should do. Also, interaction with NPCs in Fable is rather one-dimensional; you get the quest-giving NPCs, who'll talk your head off given half a chance, but you can't really talk to anyone else, as they don't have the kind of scripted dialogue most RPGs have. Instead, they merely react to your character being in their presence. You can laugh, burp, fart, dance and whatnot in front of them, but, apart from their reactions, it doesn't really do anything. Sure, you can marry someone, but that doesn't really do much, either. Because of this, the game world doesn't ever seem to change. Your character, however, does change. He'll get scars, he'll get older, and if you're good he'll appear saintly and demonic if you're evil. But, again, because the game isn't deep enough, it really doesn't feel like your character is that unique. Play the game through a couple of times, and chances are that you'll end up with a pretty similar looking character each time.

Despite not really achieving what it aspired to, and not really giving you your very own world and character, Fable is still an incredibly unique game, and a very good one at that. It doesn't do much that isn't in other games, and its innovations are more gimmicks than revolutionary concepts, but what it does right, it does well.

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Poll Results - 15/10/08

This is a big old month for games, and despite it being halfway through the month, most of the big hitters aren't even out yet. I hope you all managed to keep some money in your account for these!

So, we asked you what your most anticipated games were for this month, or at least tried to. 13 people voted, 2 of them for Fable 2, 2 for Fallout 3, 2 for LittleBigPlanet, 4 for FarCry 2, and 3 for none of the above. No one voted for Saints Row 2, or Dead Space. But I'm just going to assume that people will be picking up most, if not all, of those games, anyway.

However, if there's anything to go by in this poll, then FarCry 2 is going to sell a bucketload. It does look awesome. For me, personally, I'm split between Fable 2 and Fallout 3, but I think Fable 2 edges it just a little. Expect a Fable Retrospective soon, people!

Continue reading Poll Results - 15/10/08

Best of the Worst - Blaze & Blade: Eternal Quest

A Guest Review by Jambo

This review hails the first installment of our 'Best of the Worst' ('BotW') series, in which TGN writers/guests attempt to find the very worst games in existence, and offer proof of its terribleness, in the form of a review.

• Game: Blaze & Blade: Eternal Quest
• Version Reviewed: PSone
• Other Formats: PC
• Developer: T&E Soft
• Publisher: Funsoft
• Genre: RPG
  

When any product sells well, it’s inevitable that countless copycats will emerge to cash in on its achievements. The success of Final Fantasy VII in popularising animé-styled RPGs with a wider western audience instigated a flood in the genre. Some of the influxes tried to develop the genre further, such as Septerra Core, while others simply tried to ride the tide of RPG-hype and hope for the best. This is where Blaze & Blade: Eternal Quest comes in, complete with its own borrowed, broken surfboard.

Blaze & Blade is an RPG with a ‘twist’. Not only is there, as standard, a fairly lengthy single-player quest to venture through, but you can also play the whole game with up to three other people. Finding friends who are actually willing to endure it, however, is a completely different quest in its own right (and they may not be your friends by the end of the experience).

The game tries to combine the tabletop antics of a Dungeons & Dragons gathering with a straightforward video-game RPG, but the end-result fails to include any of the good bits of either ingredient (loosely put, the gameplay falls somewhere between Alundra & Gauntlet) - offering little more than over-simplified puzzles and monotonous hacking. The puzzles won’t keep anyone over the age of ten occupied for more than 3-4 minutes a time, while the agonisingly dull action could take a lifetime of therapy to forget.

Every RPG needs a strong story to keep the gamer engaged; the Final Fantasy games, for example, have always featured detailed, twisting storylines that capture and maintain the player’s interest. Unfortunately, Funsoft appear to have overlooked this, and in place of any semblance of story, the game’s sole focus is to force you (and your unfortunate allies) through dungeon after dungeon in pursuit of ‘magic stones’. Such dull, linear action prevents you from forming any kind of connection with your character, and the game’s non-player characters are just as unlovable, acting only to give you herbs and warnings about the next dungeons. The dungeons themselves look horribly samey, with only trivial differences between them, which means there’s little sense of progression.

Tsk. Delivering the mail is dangerous, anyway. A few demons aren't going to make it even more so. Poof.

The controls are clunky, awkward and generally frustrating. The basic controls are functional enough (one button for striking, another for jumping and another for your special ability) but the complimentary controls are awful: pressing ‘Start’ brings up the in-game menu, but in order to navigate through the options you must use the D-Pad and shoulder buttons, making finding items (and the map!) a chore and a bore. Even more exasperating is trying to use some of the items: this mundane procedure cannot be performed using the menu and must thus be executed whilst fighting in real-time. Since some of the icons for items look remarkably similar, you’ll often find yourself wasting valuable potions or casting the wrong spell.

There are a range of camera-angles from which to view the action, but none of them are particularly good. The bird’s-eye view can be toggled on or off - but once activated, only lasts for about five seconds before it needs to be reactivated! The other camera angles render the game near unplayable, regularly resulting in characters falling off cliffs, or being assaulted by off-screen foes.

Some of the other game-features are just as counter-spontaneous. Say, for example, you’ve just picked up an item and want to give it to a friend to use (a logical choice of action in a multiplayer RPG). You cannot simply give the item away; you must leave the game, go to the auction screen and sell it to the player for a base price. This upsets the flow of the game - but the real head-scratcher here is the fact that, these auctions aside, money has no use in the game world as you cannot actually ‘buy’ anything. Surely it wouldn’t have killed the makers to install a simple shop for buying/selling equipment…

It's really hard trying to find screenshots for this game that aren't either completely boring or set in this pub-type place. It seems no one bothered to get past this bit.

Another major fault involves the ‘random dungeon generator’ (which does exactly what it says on the tin). Work your way through half a dungeon then pop outside to save, you’ll find that - upon reloading - the entire dungeon has completely changed and must thus be reworked from scratch. One would have thought a problem of this magnitude would have been fixed prior to release…

So, are there any good points? Well, the character customisation is decent enough, with the player being able to choose from eight different character classes, and allocate attributes as they see fit (e.g. Luck, Power, Strength, Intelligence, etc.). You can also choose your sex (though there is very little difference in appearance) and the way you want your character to speak in the game. Though with the lack of any real in-game character interaction, this last feature is rendered useless.

It’s all a shame, as in some ways, you might try to love this game. It at least attempted, for its time, something slightly different in the RPG field. Unfortunately, it fell flat on its face at the first hurdle, and the end result is messy, unfinished, riddled with faults and glitches and, overall, a pointless purchase for even the most ardent RPG-er.

Score:
8 turds out of 10

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Review - Crysis Warhead

A Guest Review by Mr Party Hat

• Game: Crysis Warhead
  
• Version Reviewed: PC
• Other Formats: None
  
• Developer: Crytek Budapest
  
• Publishers: EA, Valve (via Steam)
• Genre: FPS
  

Aloha!


Ooooh!


Brrrrrr!


Korean!


Wait for it…


Boom!


Wheeeee!

Score:
9/10

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Feature – Paint By Numbers: The Racer

A Guest Article by Jambo

To be successful, every console needs a great racer. Sony has Gran Turismo, Microsoft has Forza Motorsport and Project Gotham Racing while Nintendo… well, let’s move on, shall we? It’s not just the 1st and 2nd party developers either, there are of course the multiplatform titles such as the Burnouts and the Need For Speeds which always seem to sell well and achieve more than moderate success. Anyway, intro aside, here’s what to expect from your typical racer…

1. The Racing Type

There are generally two main types of the genre outside of the obvious two-wheel/four-wheel: the Arcade game and the Simulator game (or, as some prefer, the street racer and the track racer). The Sim games are likely to be very popular, even though everyone secretly finds their difficulty (aka "realism") makes them unplayable. As a rule, Sim games include a ‘Garage’ in which to store your ‘fly wheels’ and make modifications to your vehicle. Most gamers will simply choose to try out different colours, add nitro options, place a huge spoiler on the back and try to make comical shapes out of the selection of self-design stickers available.

The second type is arguably more adored. Although Sims sell well, it is normally the Arcade racers that last longer. Triumphs of this type include both the Outrun and Burnout series. The arcade racer prefers not to place its head so far up its own backside that it needs a glass stomach to see out of, and instead offers innovation and above all: fun. Take the aforementioned Burnout series for example. A conventional Sim, such as Forza Motorsport, will reward the player for safe driving and maintaining a good driving line around the track. Burnout, on the other hand, rewards the player for causing huge pile-ups and forcing opposing drivers off the road in spectacular (slow-mo) fashion. As if that wasn’t enough they even felt the need to include a ‘Crash Mode’ to make the difference between the two types clear!

2. The Girls

Your typical mainstream racer will most likely try to entice you to purchase the game with pictures of scantily clad women adorning the box. The industry standard ‘Racing Babe’ has blond hair, wears hot pants and seems incapable of getting her bottom out of the way of photographs (especially when it comes to shooting the box art). The in-game role of this poor women is to calmly stand in front of a number of loud-engined vehicles and shoot a gun to signal the start of the race and then stand perfectly still as said vehicles proceed to go from nought to sixty merely inches past her. And her name doesn’t even get mentioned throughout the entire game! Talk about unsung heroes…

3. The Tracks

The Sim racer will pride itself on the true-to-life realism of the courses. Frequently used locations in Sim games are Edinburgh, Monte Carlo, Paris and London. The courses will often have surplus trees, one or two buildings and maybe a jump (if the developers are feeling audacious). This is in direct contrast to the mandatory dark grey streets of the Arcade racer, with the only light coming from the neon signs of seedy bars and clubs. The Arcade racer may use real locations but the developers will modify them slightly to allow for explosions and the lark (refer to Midtown Madness 3 for further research).

4. The Cars

Once again, the Sim will try to prove its worth by getting the official rights to use real cars such as Ferraris, Audis, Lamborghinis and Nissans, with the fan-favourite being a tie between the Nissan Skyline and the Enzo Ferrari. Of course, the downside to getting these official rights usually means that the cars can receive no damage in-game, leading to an criminally unrealistic experience in a genre that is supposed to be a simulator. The Arcade racer, on the other hand, will use its own brand of cars (sometimes only changing a letter in existing car manufacturers to create a new brand such as ‘Nossan’ or ‘Yotota’). By the end of the race your car will habitually only be recognisable by its license plate, and even then that has normally been lost somewhere by the second hair-pin.

5. The Racing

Again, the Sim is easily distinguishable from its Arcade cousin. A Sim type race is a straight forward tactical race to the finish line. The Arcade racer prefers to explore a different route by allowing the driver to destroy other vehicles or use items readily available on the track to give you an advantage. There will be countless occasions where you will be metres away from the finishing line only to be taken out by a well placed rocket. You are then forced to grudgingly sit in your chair and take the mocking from your smug friend like a man.

6. The AI

The artificial intelligence in racing games normally follows these basic rules:
1. No matter how well you race another vehicle will always be on your tail, ready to overtake the very moment you fractionally misjudge a corner.
2. As soon as you purchase/win a new car there will always be a driver with a better one that you will have to race.

7. The Soundtrack

Both types of racer tend to suffer here. The developers of Arcade racers believe that the gamer wants to listen to bland pop-punk and lyrically mundane hip-hop beats (I’m looking directly at you EA). The bands signed are usually ones that had huge one hit wonders then fell from grace. Alien Ant Farm, Ms. Dynamite and Feeder immediately spring to mind.

***

Overall, the generic Racing game experience can be duplicated by placing an issue of Top Gear magazine, some paint, a ridiculously large spoiler and an old copy of Maxim in a blender on high setting. However, once every blue moon an innovative racer emerges out of relative obscurity offering diverse gameplay and sublime modes as it sits proudly atop the gaming charts for all to see. Be it Sim or Arcade, the gamer doesn’t really mind, so long as it has plenty of leg room and hasn’t done too much mileage, they’ll be happy.

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