Monday, 4 August 2008

An Open Letter to the Outside World

A Guest Article by Mr Party Hat

Ten years ago, videogames were not the force they are today. Telling someone that you were a gamer garnered a similar response as telling them that you were a paedophile with TB. The PlayStation was doing its best to attract the after pub crowd, but stopped short of true mass market penetration. We wanted people to play with. We wanted our mums and dads to play Mario Kart with us, our partners to sit and watch as we plodded through Resident Evil. We wanted to share our hobby. Videogames had been big business for quite some time, and were beginning to rival Hollywood when it came to entertainment market share, but we didn't care about that. We wanted to be able to bring a girl home without her seeing the N64 and assuming that we used 8 sided dice to decide which Lord of the Rings character we were going to masturbate over. We wanted acceptance.

On Christmas morning, 2006, I unwrapped my Wii console and played a game of Wii Tennis. It was to be the last time that it would be my Wii console. Soon, my parents were playing doubles matches with my cousins. My uncles were beating the shit out of each other on Boxing. On Christmas morning 2006, Nintendo gave gaming to the masses. We were happy because we had finally been able to share our hobby with our loved ones, they were happy because swinging the white plastic thing was a bit like real tennis, and Nintendo were happy because each console pocketed them an obscene amount of profit.

By the dawn of 2007, most gamers were still trying to coax Grandma away from Wii Play so that they could get some quality time with Twilight Princess. Twelve months later and the family had moved on to Carnival and Ninjabread Man, leaving most of us holding Mario Galaxy, wondering when it would be our turn. July 2008, and E3 confirms the worst - the casuals have taken over. Sony outlines its plan to turn the PS3 into Facebook 2 with the help of Home; Microsoft completely redesign the 360 with the family in mind, touting Miis and quiz shows over Fallout exclusivity. Nintendo announce Wii Sports 2.

Partners, family members, the outside world. We're glad you have finally been able to peer into our world and understand a little of why we find games so captivating. We appreciate the social acceptance that now comes from owning a Wii. We're pleased that, for the best part of 20 months, we have been able to share our hobby with you.

Now kindly give it back to us and fuck off. Don't let the Balance Board hit you on the way out.


Nimmo said...

Brilliant, MPH. :D

hyrulianhero88 said...

Abso-bloody-lutely fantastic :D

Adzieboy said...

Loved it. :P

Krystal said...

Nice article. Yes, it is nice that people understand when you say you play games. But then they assume all you do is play Wii Sports all day and that's not much better than how it was 3/4 years ago.

Mumbo said...

Superb, Party Hat! Great stuff. =D

Radical Hunter said...

That was great party hat very well said.